Every relationship is faced with obstacles, sometimes caused by outside sources and other times caused by each other. We’re all only human and that means it’s inevitable that we will make mistakes and fall short. Relationships mean compromise and imperfections, and constant change and growth, taking constant effort and commitment. It’s not easy, but that’s what makes it so much more rewarding. Every challenge overcome and conflict solved together, brings you closer together and greater intimacy.
Although you can’t avoid challenges, you can decide how you will respond to problems you will face; research on self-affirmation has shown that simple reminders of self-integrity reduce people’s tendency to respond defensively to such threats. So the better you feel about yourself, the less likely you are to get defensive when faced with a problem or disagreement in your relationship.
In a study published in the Cognitive Therapy and Research Journal, married couples reported higher levels of self-esteem in correlation to higher levels of marital quality and stability for both men and women. Consistent with these findings, greater discrepancies between self-esteem and perceived partner self-esteem support were related to lower levels of marital satisfaction and intimacy among couples.
Another study, published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, found that couples reported higher relationship quality after recalling a time of intrinsic affirmation from a romantic partner. I’ve discussed the importance of using intrinsic affirmations instead of extrinsic affirmations in a previous article that you can read here if you’d like to learn more.
There is a lot of research supporting the positive correlation between self-affirmation and self-esteem, especially self-affirmation that affirms the intrinsic self. You can apply these same principles when complimenting and affirming your partner, as well as for affirming yourself. The current study similarly suggests that affirmations from relationship partners may be important for enhancing relationships, but only if they emphasize intrinsic qualities of the self.
As both partners affirm themselves and each other, they will have higher self-esteem and feel more satisfaction and stability in their relationship.
Affirmations for your partner:
- I love and accept you for you.
- You are loving, generous and kind.
- I appreciate your honesty and genuineness.
- I feel comfortable and safe with you.
- I am grateful for everything you bring to our relationship.
- I appreciate the effort you put into us.
- You are caring and thoughtful.
- I am my true self when I’m with you.
- I accept you for all that you are.
- I support your dreams and goals.
- What is important to you is important to me.
- I think so positively and highly of you.
- I let go of resentment and choose forgiveness, always.
- You add so much joy to my life.
- We are unified in our love, respect, and kindness for each other.
Find affirmations to grow healthy connections, resilient relationships, and so much more on the Selfpause app, or use the app to write and record your own affirmations!
