Our first experiences and early years shape our beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world. Our childhood affects our personality and behavior into adulthood, even if we’re not consciously aware of it. Who you are now is largely connected to the beliefs you developed and events you experienced as a child.
If you are a parent, educator, or even just someone that a child looks up to, you have such great power: the ability to positively affect how that child’s beliefs will be shaped by teaching them that they are capable and worthy and loved.
In an article published in the Early Childhood and Education Journal, some strategies that were useful in empowering young children for a positive self-image and later life success included:
- changing negative thoughts into positives
- creating affirmations
- designing action plans
- utilizing visualization
These strategies specifically enable parental figures to enhance children’s social/emotional development, which is essential for their success in school and later on in life.
But you should also keep in mind, not all self-affirmations are created equal.
Empowering Children with Intrinsic Affirmations
An affirmation can either be intrinsic or extrinsic: affirming the intrinsic self means you are affirming something of your basic nature or character, a characteristic belonging to your inherent being or core self, while extrinsic affirmations are dependent on external circumstances or behavior.
Intrinsic affirmations could include statements such as, “I am a good person”, “I am brave,” and “I am assertive.” An extrinsic affirmation would be something more like, “I can run this race easily.”
Research suggests that intrinsic affirmations, referring to our core selves, have more positive influence and lasting impact than extrinsic affirmations.
For example, if a child repeats to themself that they can run the race easily, or that they will win the race, they have now made their feeling of self-worth contingent upon easily running or winning the race. If the race is harder than they thought or they don’t win, they feel worthless because they tied their worth to the outcome of the race. If the child instead repeats that they are brave and assertive, no matter the outcome of the race those things can still hold true. Even if they weren’t the fastest person on the track or if the race felt long and hard, they can still feel good about themself because they were brave for running in the race and they were assertive by not giving up.
According to psychologists, Edward Deci and Richard Ryan:
“Intrinsic motivation is considered better than extrinsic motivation because people who are intrinsically motivated are more likely to be:
- Successful – They achieve better results.
- Committed – They have a stronger sense of personal commitment.
- Persistent – They perform more persistently and are less likely to quit when facing difficulties.
- Creative – They are more creative and more likely to come up with novel ideas and solutions. Intrinsic motivation is an important component of creativity.”
When aiming to help your children enhance their self-image and increase self-esteem, make sure their affirmations of self-worth are affirming the intrinsic aspects that can hold true in any circumstance with any external outcome.
This advice holds true just as well for you too. You are great and you have worth because of who you are and the intrinsic qualities you possess. No deed, accomplishment, or any other extrinsic aspect can change that.
Affirmations to repeat to affirm the intrinsic self:
- I feel good about myself.
- I am creative.
- I am patient and kind.
- I work hard and always try my best.
- I love to learn.
- I can do hard things.
- I am brave.
- I am confident.
- I am more grateful every day.
- I am constantly growing.
- I accept myself.
- I forgive myself and others.
- I choose happiness.
Find affirmations to encourage, inspire, and empower children (and so much more) on the Selfpause app, or use the app to write and record your own affirmations!
